I do not have feminine
physical features. I have a big nose that makes my face immediately appear male
no matter how much makeup I wear. And I have big hands that give my natural
gender away no matter how pretty and girlie I dress. So when I crossdress, I am
not passable as a real woman. Whenever I go out in public, people know that I’m
a guy dressed in drag. (I think my photographs and videos may make me look
better than I look in real life.)
But I don’t care…
because although I may not be socially
passable as a woman, I am socially acceptable as a crossdresser. What
does that mean (besides not getting the crap beat out of you when you walk into
a bar)? It means two main things:
1) All the aspects
of my appearance are as feminine as I can get them to be, considering the
natural, existing features of my face and body.
2) The way I
behave in public is not offensive to the average person, or at least I try not
to be offensive.
Let me explain
each of these points…
Appearance
I envy young M2F
transgenders who still have enough of their androgynous looks to pass as
genetic females. I’ve crossdressed since I was about 13, but I did not start
going out in public until I was what would be considered “middle aged.” By
then, the testosterone had done fairly significant damage. But I do the best I
can…
Perhaps most
importantly, I keep my weight down. I have a naturally slender physique, with rather
skinny, nonmuscular arms and (I can proudly say) rather sexy, shapely legs.
Still, I have to watch my diet to avoid getting a little potbelly, which would
totally destroy the whole point of wearing a sexy, slinky dress. I hate to
exercise or work out, and, although I am thin, my muscles are not particularly
tight.
Shapewear
So when I crossdress,
I wear a tight waist cincher under my clothes to draw in and tighten my belly
as much as possible. You can buy that kind of shapewear in the lingerie departments
of various stores. I bought mine at Walmart.
Of course, you
also have to wear a convincing set of boobs under your clothes. I wear a
mastectomy bra—the kind of bra worn by women who have had their breasts removed
because of cancer. It’s a bra with pockets in which you insert breast-shaped
foam or other inserts. They’re fairly inexpensive. I bought mine online. When I
wear my mastectomy bra, my breasts are very full and natural looking, and they
have just the right firmness to be natural feeling.
A lot of Tgirls
wear padded panties or pantie inserts to accentuate their butt and/or hips. I
have these, but I don’t like to wear them. Padded panties make me feel weird
and uncomfortable when I sit, and I often get the sensation that they are slipping
downward and out of place. Needless to say, having your ass slip down your legs
in public could be potentially embarrassing. Furthermore, the more things you
wear around your private parts, the more difficult it is to go to the bathroom.
(It’s more than enough trouble that I usually have to wear two or three regular
panties to absorb the precum that I tend to produce as a result of the sexual
excitement I feel from crossdressing.) So I don’t think padded panties are
worth the trouble. Most people are going to be looking at your face, boobs, and
legs anyway—not your ass.
Legs
Speaking of legs,
I hardly ever crossdress without pantyhose or thigh-high nylons if I’m wearing
a dress or skirt. Even if I’m wearing skinny jeans or other women’s pants, I
wear knee-highs. Legs–no matter how much you show of them—always look pretty,
sexier, and more feminine with hosiery. My favorite sheer hosiery is off black
or black, because I think those colors are more of a sexual, fetish turn-on
(both for me and for guys who see me). But sheer nude or suntan hosiery looks
better with some outfits. And fishnets are the choice if you’re feeling
especially naughty. Besides making my legs look better, pantyhose and nylons
make me feel sooo feminine!
Still other
choices for legwear are patterned leggings or opaque tights, depending on your
fashion ensemble. That’s the best, most fun thing about being a woman (or a
crossdresser)—you have such a wide variety of choices of sexy, exciting styles
to wear! And women’s clothes are indeed exciting… OMG, how I love them!
Dresses, skirts, leggings, and heels
As far as your
main outfit goes, your choices are virtually infinite when it comes to women’s
clothes. Just thinking about the many options makes me feel happy and excited—minidresses,
maxidresses, short tight skirts, long flowy skirts, low-cut tops, frilly tops,
tunics, pumps, boots, and other high heels ranging from 3 inches (my minimum)
to 7 inches (pretty much my maximum). I hardly ever wear flats. Oh my, the
choices are so dizzying and intoxicating!
Whatever type of shoes
you get, make sure that they are the right size. I have very big and wide feet,
so I sometimes have to look a little harder to find my size. But stores seem to
be carrying larger shoes for women these days. (Either women are getting
bigger, or the stores are catering to their tranny customers.) Even Payless
commonly carries up to size 13. That’s even too big for me! If you wear the
right size, walking in very high heels is very easy.
What you choose to
wear depends on where you plan on going and what your purpose of going there
is. My favorite places to go are regular straight bars and regular female strip
clubs. I love turning on “straight” guys at the bars, and I love pretending I’m
“one of the girls” at the strip clubs. (More about that later.)
So I tend to dress
in the slutty category—tight miniskirts, tight low-cut tops, and sky-high stiletto
heels (usually purchased at Lovers Lane, where all the best strippers shops).
Although my appearance might initially be shocking to many people, and lots of
trannies would probably not have the guts to dress the way I do in public, I
have had essentially no bad or unpleasant experiences (other than the time I
got beat up by the cops, which you can read about in my book). And most of the
places I go are in lower middle-class suburban areas—NOT downtown Chicago, New York
City, or San Francisco. Still, I am accepted in these places and treated with
respect—probably mainly because of my behavior. (See more below.)
Needless to say, I
don’t always dress like a slut. If I’m going to a fancy restaurant, I’ll wear a
nice classy dress. If I’m going to a very fancy party, I might wear a
full-length gown. If I’m meeting business clients, I’ll probably wear a
respectable pencil skirt, blouse, and women’s suit jacket. If the setting is
more informal, I might wear skinny jeans, leggings, or a maxidress. Whatever it
is, just try to match your outfit to your setting and your purpose. (And always
remember how damn lucky you are to be a transvestite!)
Jewelry
I used to wear a
lot of jewelry—necklaces, bracelets, rings, earrings, pins (most of it
inexpensive). But I eventually concluded that all that cheap bling made me look
older. Look around next time you go out—most young women wear very little, if
any, jewelry. So now I usually just wear big bracelets (which make my hands look
smaller) and two or three rings at the most. I wear a necklace only if the
outfit really calls for it. I don’t wear earrings often—mainly because I don’t
like the way they feel, and I usually wear long wigs that cover my ears anyway.
Fashion trends
Regarding all
matters related to clothes, it is important to pay attention to women’s fashion
trends. You can get great ideas on ways to combine the various pieces of your
ensemble, as well as how to hold and carry your body in a feminine way, from
fashion magazines, websites, and blogs, and even from watching the models on
home shopping television channels, like HSN or QVC.
Skin and shaving
Wearing a nice
outfit is by no means the only important aspect of publicly presenting yourself
as a woman. Perhaps even more important than your clothes is the cosmetic
appearance of your body—the way you treat your skin and apply your makeup.
Let’s start with
the skin. For women, attractive skin is much more important than it is for
men—because women typically show a lot more skin as a result of the revealing
clothing they wear. So—if you want to be treated like a woman—please shave
those hairy arms and legs and that hairy chest! I can’t believe how many
crossdressers neglect these basic aspects of their appearance! (I hope I don’t
have to remind you to give your face and neck a good close shave.)
Maybe you can’t
shave your arms, legs, or chest because you would have a difficult time
explaining your suddenly bare skin to spouses or other people. If that’s the
case, then just wear long sleeves, leggings, skinny jeans, high-cut tops, or
other clothing that covers the skin. There are many women’s clothes that are
pretty and feminine and still cover lots of skin.
At a minimum, you
need to shave any parts of your skin that your clothes do not cover. But if
there is any possibility of you getting naked—such as when you take that
handsome tranny admirer home with you—you better shave your entire body, including
your underarms, stomach, back, and butt. And either shave or trim that long
curly pubic hair so that the guy doesn’t get grossed out by what he thought
was a feminine tranny.
The key thing is
that you want your body to be as soft, smooth, and feminine as you can possibly
make it. If you’re not taking female hormones (and I do not), then this
requires a lot of extra effort. In fact, it is my least favorite thing about
being a crossdresser. The use of liberal amounts of body lotion helps.
Makeup, nails, wigs, etc
I’m not sure if my
favorite thing about being a crossdresser is the clothes or the makeup. I love
makeup so much—especially looking at my reflection in the mirror as my face
turns from male to female. Here is the makeup and other finishing touches that I
usually wear:
- I wear CoverGirl
Ultimate Finish liquid powder makeup, as a foundation to cover all the flaws
and follicles. I naturally have blonde and grey hair, so this works perfectly
to cover my beard follicles. If you naturally have darker beard hair, you might
need a special concealer. But I doubt it. That CG Ultimate Finish does a pretty
thorough job. Be sure to apply the makeup to cover the beard on your neck as
well as your face.
- On top of the
liquid powder, I apply CoverGirl pressed powder, which further smooths out the
complexion, covers the imperfections, and gets rid of the shine. The tone of
this pressed powder should match that of the liquid powder. Be sure you select
a tone that matches your natural skin color as closely as possible. (You don’t
want your face to be a different color than your chest!) This may take a little
trial and error.
- I like to wear
the darkest lipstick I can find. Dark lips are sexy lips. Dark lips are
enticing lips. Dark lips are exciting lips. I usually go with colors like
Loreal’s Spice. But it’s a good idea to have lip colors in several different
shades so that you can match the shades to the colors of different outfits.
- I stay away from
rouge, because it’s too easy to overdo this and end up looking like a clown.
But if I feel a need to accentuate my cheekbones, I might touch the lipstick to
my skin and then smooth it out at an angle with my fingers and blend it into my
powder.
- For me, the most
important makeup is the eye makeup. Many of my genetic female friends tell me
that I wear too much eye makeup. But they are wrong, because they’re applying
their female standards to a crossdresser—and crossdressers generally have
different requirements than real women. In my case, I believe that heavy black
eye makeup draws attention away from my big male nose. Sure, up close and in
daylight, it might look a bit excessive. And I do try to tone it down during
the daytime. But most of my crossdressing outings are at night in dark bars,
and my dark, dramatic eye makeup is absolutely perfect for that setting…
I wear black mascara,
black liquid eyeliner (top and bottom, and tapered upward on the sides for
about a quarter inch), and black eyeshadow on the lids. I sometimes add lighter
eyeshadow beneath my brows. I wear false lashes only for special occasions,
because I find them to be a pain to put on. I never wear eyebrow pencil,
because I think it usually has an old and phony look. Instead, I trim the hair
of my brows with scissors and a razor to make them as thin and tapered as
possible. But be careful not to totally cut them off! Most of the wigs I wear
have long bangs than cover my brows anyway.
- I dislike false
nails as much as I dislike false lashes. Both are a pain. I also don’t much
like colored nail polish. But a tranny does need nice shiny nails, so I usually
apply clear shiny polish after I trim and file my nails to attractive shapes.
Your nails do not have to be very long to look feminine and pretty.
- God, how I love
my wigs! I have long and short wigs, wavy and straight wigs, and wigs that are
brunette, blonde, black, red, pink, and purple. Most people tell me that I look
best as a brunette. So that’s my usual look. But I must be a slutty blonde
sometimes! It’s a good idea to have wigs of different styles, lengths, and
colors so you have options for whatever mood you might be in when you go out.
The main thing for
me with wigs is that I have a big head, so when I buy a wig, I have to make
sure it has a large cap. If I wear a regular-cap wig, I might get a headache
from it—or an unsightly red line across the top of my forehead.
- Finally, don’t
forget to apply a bit of feminine, girlie perfume before you step out the door
for your exciting evening. But don’t put on too much, or you’ll make people
sick!
Behavior
The way you behave
when you go out is just as important as the way you look, if you want to be
socially accepted among “regular” folks. Some outrageous behaviors might be
accepted in certain tranny or gay bars. For example, I’ve come as close as one
can come to having sexual intercourse with men (without actual penetration) right
in the middle of gay bars. However, it goes without saying that such behavior
will probably get you arrested, beat up, or killed in regular straight bars.
Bars and strip clubs
When I first
started going out in drag, I used to go mainly to gay bars because I felt safer
in such places. But I soon became bored there. Most of the guys thought of me
as a woman, and they showed no interest in me. So I started going more often to
straight bars, where I’ve noticed a pattern: guys who are interested in me come
up to me and say something like, “you know, I’m straight, I’m married (or I
have a girlfriend), and I’ve never been with a guy before. But I’m kind of
curious, and I find you very attractive….” If I like the guy, I take him home,
or I go to his home, and we have sex. Most of the guys I’ve had sex with are
self-professed “straight” guys that I’ve met in straight bars or clubs.
The other main
type of place I go is strip clubs—regular strip clubs with real, genetic female
strippers. (I’ve never been to a gay/guy strip club, and I have no desire to do
so.) I go to strip clubs because I love women’s bodies, and I love looking at
women’s bodies, and I just love women! Guys may be attracted to me, and I enjoy
having sex with them because it makes me feel like a woman. But I am sexually
attracted primarily to women—specifically young sexy women. I am sexually
attracted to sexy women at the same time that I want to be a sexy woman…
So when I go to a
strip club, I usually try to dress like a stripper and/or hooker, and I like to
pretend that I’m one of the working girls. (And, yes, I have been asked for lap
dances by some guys.) I’m in girlie-girl, female, estrogen heaven when I’m
talking with the girls, getting lap dances from them, or doing other fun things
with them in the high-priced “VIP room”—all while I’m wearing my fishnet
nylons, stiletto heels, tight minidress, big boobs, elaborate makeup, and crazy
wigs. The dancers and waitresses love me, and the bouncers and bartenders treat
me with respect.
Why? Why am I
treated with acceptance, kindness, friendliness, respect, and even desire at
these types of places where trannies normally do not tread? Why am I not
treated rudely, insulted, and beat up instead?
Mutual respect
I believe I am
accepted and treated with respect by these people who are not used to seeing
trannies because I treat them with respect. I do not force myself on them. I am
not pushy or aggressive or “in your face.” And I’m certainly not there to
prompt any kind of confrontation as a way of claiming “my rights.” I’m just
there to have a bit of fun while trying not to cause any trouble.
When I’m at the
bar, club, or whatever the establishment is, I tend to keep to myself unless
people come up to me—and people inevitably do come up to me, to talk, to ask
questions, or to flirt. So I let other people approach me whenever they feel
comfortable doing so.
Before I go to a
new place, I usually phone them ahead of time to ask if they are OK with a
crossdresser visiting their establishment. Almost all places say they are OK
with it, and many even offer encouragement to come. Remember that I live in a
lower middle-class, blue-collar area—the kind of area that many “enlightened”
people like to think is intolerant and ignorant and backward. Well, those
people are wrong. People anywhere will accept you if you meet them on their own
terms. At least, that is my experience.
If I don’t phone a
place ahead of time, I usually walk into the place with a bit of caution. I
pause at the entrance and look around, trying to get a sense of the place. If I
get an uncomfortable sense—like I did one time at a rock club—I’ll walk out and
never go back. But if I get a comfortable sense, I’ll proceed into the place in
all my high-heeled confidence. If there’s a greeter, I’ll ask him or her if
they are OK with me visiting. And I’ll respect whatever answer they give me. I
think I’ve been told I was unwelcome at only one or two places.
My libertarian philosophy
If I am told—or if
I sense—that I am unwelcomed at a certain establishment, I will not go to that
place or I will immediately leave should I already be there. I have no problem
with that. I’m not going to rant and rave, I’m not going to organize a protest,
and I’m not going to call my congressman to demand some new antidiscrimination
law. That kind of stuff is BS.
Politically, I’m a
libertarian—not a liberal, and not a conservative. A liberal is the kind of
person who would demand that Congress pass a law requiring all private
businesses to let in trannies (and anybody else the business might object to).
A conservative is the kind of person who might want a law banning trannies from
visiting certain businesses.
By contrast, a
libertarian—like me—leaves the decision up to the property owner, not the
government. I respect property rights. Whoever owns the business has the right
to decide the kind of people that are welcomed in that business—and the kind
that are not welcomed. If you respect that basic right of property owners, then
there should be no problems and no reason to run crying for government
protection. If the property owner is OK with you, great! If not, then just take
your business elsewhere. It is their loss, not yours. This libertarian
perspective will help ensure that you are always accepted whenever you go out.
(Rand Paul for president!)
Bathrooms
Another issue that
will inevitably come up when you’re out crossdressed at a bar, club,
restaurant, or any other public place is this: which bathroom should you use? Frankly,
I believe that transvestites/crossdressers, like me, should not use women’s bathrooms, because we’re
not really women. We’re just guys who get our kicks by dressing like women. By
contrast, I believe that true transsexuals—no matter if they are pre-op,
non-op, or post-op—should use women’s bathrooms, because they really think of
themselves as women (regardless of their anatomy). However, things get more
complicated because lots of guys will feel uncomfortable sharing the public
restroom with a guy in a dress, and lots of women will feel uncomfortable sharing
the restroom with what they see as a guy in a dress.
So what is a guy
in a dress to do? This seemingly complicated problem has a simple solution if
you, once again, respect property rights. Simply ask the owner, manager, or
closest employee which bathroom they prefer you to use. Then respect and obey
their wish.
Go out, be smart, have fun
Many
crossdressers/transvestites are afraid to go out in public because they fear
they will not pass and not be accepted. I urge you to conquer your fears and work
up the courage to go out! Go out wherever and whenever you want to go out (but
I suggest you follow my above suggestions). The best times of my life are the
times when I’m dressed like a woman in public. My fun, happy, and sometimes
crazy memories of these outings will bring me joy forever! And there are more
fun tranny times in the future for me…
The main thing to
remember is to use your common sense in the way you dress and the way you act.
If you pass, congratulations! If you don’t pass, then strive to be accepted.
Respect others, and they will respect you.
Just remember to
use some of those brain cells inside your pretty head, and you will have a lot
of fun! After all, the whole point of crossdressing is to have fun!
This video shows me out and about in various outfits and looks…
Jessica Sayyida is the author of My
Transvestite Addictions—The Story of One Individual’s Odyssey Through
Crossdressing, Alcohol, Escorts, Strippers, Sex, and Money
(ISBN: 978-1-62646-325-7), published
under the name of Jack/Jacquelina A. Shelia, by BookLocker.com.
http://jacquelinaashelia.yolasite.com
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